Before I came to the Nar-Anon program, I named myself “Pitiful Pearl.” I was so obsessed by worry, fear, obligation, guilt, and coping with the addict’s behavior that I could not focus on me. I wondered what I was doing wrong.
There are nights when I do not feel like going to a meeting but I have found those are the times when I get the most from my meeting. One saying I heard early on really hit me. Someone was speaking about getting off the “pity pot.” I knew from experience what that meant.
At every Nar-Anon meeting, I was encouraged to listen so that I could learn a new way of life. I learned that my worry and fear never stopped anything from happening, nor did it cause anything to happen. My guilt only hurt me; it had no affect on the addict. I learned that my obligation was to my own recovery and me. I learned to “let go” as a way of coping with the addict’s behavior.
Thought for Today: If I live in the here and now, if I live one day at a time, I will no longer be stuck in the past and I will not project the future. I am so grateful for these blessings! I continue to contribute my experience, strength and hope to others at meetings and my service to Nar-Anon. I have faith and experience fantastic adventures by trusting in a Power greater than me. Now I call myself “Potential Pearl.”
“Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.” ~ John W. Gardne