Before Nar-Anon, I would have told you that I was the sane one and the addict was crazy. My addicted loved one was out-of-control. He disappeared for days, borrowed money he never paid back and stole from his friends and family. He did whatever it took to get high. He had been to numerous rehabs and spent years in jails but still continued this insane behavior.I, on the other hand, pleaded, begged, cried, worried, and tried every trick, con and bribe to make him stop using. When that did not work, I made myself sick with worry and tried to clean up his messes by paying his debts. I spent thousands of dollars for collect calls from jails and halfway houses. I spent over half of my free time going to prisons to sit for hours in a visiting room. I did this all in the name of love, thinking that this was the last time; thinking that he will change; and thinking that he has had enough. I started attending Nar-Anon meetings to keep an eye on the addict and to learn how to control his addiction. I went to meetings, I listened, I found a sponsor, and I read the Nar-Anon literature. I found that I was starting to learn about addiction and how I was affected by it. I saw that I was just as insane as the addict was. My behavior was compulsive and bizarre. It took time but I began to understand my limits and after listening to and saying the Serenity Prayer over a thousand times, I finally received the message. I was ready to take Step Two.
Thought for Today: I will turn to my Higher Power for help and have hope that my Higher Power can restore me to sanity. It is not my place, my duty or within my power to control others. When I feel the need to change or control someone else, I will remind myself that this is crazy thinking.
“I have faith that anything can come to one who trusts the unlimited help of universal wisdom.” ~ Walter Russell