I wanted and prayed for something good to happen for me, and Nar-Anon was where I found it. The old adage “let the addicts hit their bottom” is difficult for me to practice. Things can get bad before the addict realizes he needs help, if he ever does. I found that my idea of bad might be different from his. My wishes, desires, wants, and the hoped-for future for the addict are likely not his.
When I start determining what the addict’s wants and needs are, then I am trying once again to control his life and take the place of his Higher Power. Once again, I recognize I have fallen into the same old trap, doing things for the addict that he should do for himself. When my focus is on him and what he desires or wants, I am making him responsible for my wants and needs as well. Today, when I make a decision on what to do about the addict, I do it for me.
I have come to believe that a Power greater than me can fulfill my wishes, desires and wants. Just as my Higher Power led me to Nar-Anon for help, this same Higher Power will lead the addict to help when he wants recovery. I can take responsibility for myself and have choices in my life, not in the lives of others. I accept my past choices by making amends to myself and others. This process has opened the door for a new and different life path for me. I am trying something different by not living in a repetitive past.
Thought for Today: Today I pray to my Higher Power to remind me that all I want and desire for myself is within me.
“Courage is not afraid to weep, and she is not afraid to pray, even when she is not sure who she is praying to.” ~ J Ruth Gendler