I have always felt that I could solve everyone’s problems but no one would listen to me. I felt more and more helpless as I watched a loved one slowly destroy himself with drugs. With each passing day, I was more determined to do everything I could to make the addict change. If he would realize the importance of getting his life in order by attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings, keeping appointments with his probation officer, and working, then he would be fine. I became obsessed with finding ways to make this happen. Even though I had been attending Nar-Anon meetings for almost a year, I was still having a problem separating helping from enabling.
With the help of my Nar-Anon friends, I slowly recognized my own addiction for fixing. I had not yet learned how to let go and practice the acceptance, courage, and wisdom promised in the Serenity Prayer by taking Step Three: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.” I was not getting the answers that I wanted, so I kept taking the job back. Needless to say, nothing changed. Then at a meeting someone shared these words, “when I asked why God hadn’t helped, my Higher Power replied, you would not get out of the way and let Me in.” Suddenly my mind was filled with this thought, “The water on the lake was like glass,” and I felt suddenly calm. I had at last put my “right” foot up onto the Third Step. With the support of my sponsor, I am keeping it there.
Several days later, I learned that the addict’s Higher Power had helped him find his answer. There was a bus, which on its route passed his home, his work, the probation office, and to top it off, three Narcotics Anonymous meetings.
Thought for Today: I realize that what may seem impossible can be possible if I am patient. As for me, I have finally learned to let go so that now my loved one can grow on his own.
“…giving him an opportunity to become himself, to develop the best within him, regardless of what that best may be…” ~ Nar-Anon Blue Booklet