There are times when I think I hate the Twelve Steps. When I am angry, sad, tired, and deep in grief, I know I am trying to exercise control over something or someone other than myself. Sometimes it is all I can do to get out of bed and walk through the day without remembering which step I should apply to a difficult situation or how I might work a step to make me feel better. I know this is the time when I need the steps more than ever, but somehow, I am too intent on wearing my pain to think about them. I do not want to read a book or pamphlet, repeat a saying, call upon my Higher Power, or even contact my sponsor. I would rather fold into myself and just feel. I have spent so many years denying and blocking my emotions that to actually connect with what I am feeling seems more important to me than handing them over at this time…
*The Daily Reading is an extract from the SESH Book which forms part of Nar-Anon’s official literature. To order this book and others, please use this link.