When I started in Nar-Anon, I knew my life was out of control. Before I went to my first meeting, I had exhausted every resource I could think of and nothing had worked. The addict was still using and I did not know what to do for him or myself. I was physically, emotionally, and intellectually spent. I had no answers and nowhere else to go.
In Nar-Anon, I found a group of people who understood my experience, weakness, and hopelessness. I did not have to expend energy explaining or defending myself. The readings at the beginning of the meeting provided pearls of wisdom that gave me tools to deal with my life one step at a time. One of the first pearls I received was that I only had control over my own life, and in order to find serenity, I must cease trying to control the lives of other people. I learned that the control that I thought I had over the addict was merely an illusion. I only needed to recognize that I did not have control in the first place.
When I finally realized that I could not change the choices of the addict, it was as though a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I realized that I was wasting a lot of time and energy, and, eventually learned to give that time and energy to myself. I felt guilty at first, but soon began to feel stronger and hopeful that I could have peace in my life, even if the loved ones in my life chose chaos.
Thought for Today: I have now been in the program long enough to share my newfound experience, strength, and hope with others within the Nar-Anon group. Taking my eyes off the addict and putting them on myself was an essential first step for me.
“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.” ~ Guy Finley