Before Nar-Anon, I was always hiding my innermost thoughts. I did not want to bring them to the surface. Revealing my thoughts to others made them seem trivial. However, the pain I was feeling was real, and the emotional wounds that caused that pain were deep. Hiding my thoughts and feelings only increased the pain I felt and did nothing to help me heal and recover.
When I first came to the rooms of Nar-Anon, I did very little sharing. Instead, I just listened. As I heard the other members share their similar problems with their addicted family members, my courage grew, and I felt safe. The first time I did open up, it was clear that verbalizing my fears, anxieties and problems helped me. In that short five-minute share, I felt as though a five-pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt that others understood my problems. Sometimes I still get scared and my rambling thoughts are not always coherent, but the other members are patient and listen. After so many years of not communicating, I need more practice because it is difficult for me to even speak my thoughts. When I am having a hard time, I write them down first.
My life was unmanageable before I came to Nar-Anon. I have a tendency to forget what is good and positive around me. When this happens, I go to a meeting and find the loving support of the fellowship.
Thought for Today: Words of wisdom are not my forte, but I have found the healing effect of sharing my concerns with others. The times I most want to hide out with my problems are the times I most need to reach out to others.
“You get to the point where your demons, which are terrifying, grow smaller and smaller and you get bigger and bigger.” ~ August Wilson