I tried to find a metaphor to describe how I view your life on drugs. It finally came to me as I sat at the ocean’s edge. I now realize that you have been riding riptides! For a long, long time, I have not known you or known where you have been. I could hear you but I could not see you. Now that I have this perception of where you have been, I cannot imagine why you have cravings to return to that deadly behavior.
I imagine that a person who swims ashore and survives the deadly sucking-under action of a riptide would count his or her blessings and never return. Yet, in your recovery, you describe a longing to try it again! My anger swells within my throat as I stifle the words on my tongue: “Are you out of your mind?” Of course you are. That is the insanity of addiction speaking. I know what it is, I cannot bear to hear it; but it is your truth and I must accept it.
Those who have ridden riptides are the only ones who know how to survive them. You must find a sponsor to be your lifeguard. I have tried to rescue you from your insanity almost to the point of my own destruction, but have learned through Nar-Anon that I must wait on the shore. I will pray for the serenity I need while waiting for you to stop riding riptides.
Thought for Today: I will not risk being sucked into the riptide of addiction. I will go to a meeting or call a Nar-Anon friend, but I will not ride the riptide with you.
“Acceptance of what is does not mean liking it as it is.” ~ Iyanla Van Zant