About four years ago, in desperation I tried to kill my husband because of his addiction. Realizing that something was wrong, I went to see a psychiatrist. After the one-hour session talking about my husband, she suggested I attend a Twelve Step program and that program led me to Nar-Anon. The Nar-Anon program taught me that I needed to fix myself, not my husband. When I started to work on me, positive things started to happen in my life. One of the most important for me is friendship. During the 20-plus years of marriage, I lived in isolation because I did not want people to know I was married to an addict. I did not allow people to come close to me. Now, I call members of my Nar-Anon family when I need help. During the past two years, I have given myself two birthday parties where I opened my home to my friends, who are mostly Nar-Anon members. This program has done so much for me that I would have to write in every newsletter that is written from now on in order to share it all with you! With all that time alone, I can hardly believe that now I am telling a group of strangers, no, members of my Nar-Anon family that I have not yet met, that I almost committed murder! This was a secret for a long time. I was in the program for two years before I could tell anyone what I had done. Now I can say it without feeling bad about myself because the program has taught me not to beat myself up when I make a mistake. With the help of my Higher Power, which I choose to call God, my Nar-Anon friends and tools of the program, I have found a better, new way of life, and I am hopeful that I will never feel like killing anyone again.
Thought for Today: It is insanity to consider killing another because they fail to live up to my expectations, as much as it is insanity to live in isolation and unhappiness for long periods.
“Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief.” ~ Joseph Addison