Because of the drug use, the stealing and lying, and the chaos that goes along with active addiction, I asked the addict to leave our home. The chaos persisted, and in time, I changed the locks on the house and banned her from the premises. The sadness that followed my decision was intense. I was fraught with anxiety, and shed many tears. Many times, I contemplated allowing her to return home, even though she was still using. I was not prepared for the intense pain and anxiety that resulted from my decision. I felt worse than when the addict was at home.
Thankfully, a friend suggested that I attend a Nar-Anon meeting. In time, I began to realize that the addict had never been held accountable for her actions because I had always bailed her out of difficult situations. I realized that unless the addict was forced to accept responsibility for her actions, my home life would not improve. I longed for a normal life and I was desperate for relief from the agony and pain of living with her addiction. I had reached my bottom and knew that I was miserable and needed help.
Nar-Anon helped me to realize that I needed to take care of myself. I learned that I have choices and I can set boundaries that are good for me. I took responsibility for myself by not allowing her to come back home while she was still using drugs. I took responsibility for myself by seeking help in Nar-Anon.
Thought for Today: It can be very empowering to take responsibility for my own choices. I will act in my own best interest today.
“When we go through storms we ask where is God. I’ll tell you where He is. He’s backstage designing a rainbow.” ~ Dr. Robert Schuler