I believe that I have always been a perfectionist. If there was problem lurking somewhere in my family, I found it and worked on it until it was solved. My husband is an alcoholic and was when I married him; I thought he just liked to drink. Since I considered alcoholics to be people who lived on the street and ate out of trashcans, he was not a problem. However, when my son became an out-of-control addict, I spun into action. I decided that since problem solving was what I do best, this would be a breeze. I tried my best to stop the addiction, but it continued to get worse. As his using increased, I tried harder until I was no longer able to function at home or at work. I hid from my friends and my family because I did not want them to ask me how I was.
At some point, I had to abandon this way of thinking and admit that there were problems that I could not solve. This is when I came to Nar-Anon. I learned that I was living in chaos and thriving on a way of life that only helped me survive the disease of addiction.
Even though my old survival techniques will sometimes surface during a crisis, I can now rely on the tools of the Nar-Anon program to help me realize what I need to do, and how I need to act instead of react. I need to see these problems as part of the solution. I need to let go and allow God to work in ways that I cannot understand. Sometimes, I still want to jump in and fix it, because my old habit of impatience returns, but I understand that I must wait on my Higher Power.
Thought for Today: Nar-Anon helps me remember to use the tools, depend on my Higher Power and trust the process. The serenity and support that comes from this program is unbelievable. It Works!“The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles.” ~ Bernard Baruch