I feel as though I have been dabbling in my recovery. I have let the addict go, but have I done it with love? I feel calm, serene even, over longer and longer passages of time. I am not calling the addict nor trying to make up with the addict. I am not obsessing about the addict, but have I detached with love? I wonder if the nasty kernels of my anger are going to show themselves at the least desirable time, leaving me feeling crazy and out of control. I am suspicious of myself.
I am learning that I can take my inventory anytime I need to. It has been suggested that there are three types of inventories I can use:
- Spot Check – Stopping momentarily each day to assess my attitude and behavior.
- Daily Inventory – Stopping at the end of the day and reviewing what happened and how I reacted.
- Long-Term Periodic Inventory – Special days I set aside for reflection on my life. Usually done in a special place such as a retreat.
By studying Nar-Anon literature, I am learning that I can do what I need to do. I have this right. I do not need to always look after someone else. I can focus on what I need. I can decide what is best for me at the time. If I want and need to reach out, I have that choice when I feel it is the right time for me to do so. I can decide I have choices and I like it.
Thought for Today: I am realizing that when I practice my program I remain serene.
“The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.” ~ Thomas Carlyle