A member of another twelve step program who is a newcomer employs my son. Because he was a financial success I mistakenly had a higher opinion of him than I would have for an addict who has lost it all. He came into my life at a time when I was establishing strong boundaries for myself and was reclaiming my own life. I was learning to keep the focus on me. I was making decisions regarding the behaviors I would not tolerate from the addicts in my life.

I allowed my son’s boss to take me for a two-hour ride and found myself defending my principles! I had only known him a week, yet he was telling me what to do and because of my insecurities, I was accepting his advice. Finally, when he said that I was responsible for my son’s recovery, the red light came on. I know that I didn’t cause and can’t control or cure the disease of addiction. I am responsible for my own recovery. My program tells me that I cannot control the behavior of others.

The Nar-Anon program and the Twelve Steps of Nar-Anon work! I can see my growth as a result of practicing this program. I am not the same person who walked into these rooms four years ago. The doormat is now at the door. Today I have the wisdom to let people and their advice in or keep them out. It is my choice. Neither guilt nor resentment rule over the relationships I have today. It took someone trying to lay a guilt trip on me to remind me that I am only responsible for my own recovery.

Thought for Today: I am thankful for all the people in the Nar-Anon program and most thankful to my Higher Power for the growth and recovery that I am experiencing today.

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life.” ~ Sandra Carey

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