Before I came to Nar-Anon, everything and everyone was my responsibility. I took pride in my ability to fix any bad situation and clean up other people’s financial and legal troubles. I helped the addict in my life avoid the consequences of his actions. I went from treatment centers, to lawyers’ offices, to courtrooms, and to the probation office. I drove two hours to see the addict in prison and I drove him to and from work when he was in a work release program. I was a one-person rescue squad. After many years of this, I was an emotional wreck. I was exhausted, resentful, physically unhealthy, and spiritually bankrupt. I was out of control and I was alone. I finally found Nar-Anon.
It was a pleasant surprise to realize that I am not responsible for others. I am only responsible for my own actions and emotional well-being. If I am not in a good mood, I can ponder the reasons why and determine my choices. I can choose to stay in a foul mood or take steps to change it. The option is mine. I cannot blame others, and I cannot depend on others to fix it for me. I learned that my entire obsession with others was my way of taking my attention off of me.
Thought for Today: When I become obsessed with other people’s lives, I know it is time to look in the mirror and discover what I am hiding from.
“It’s not our disadvantages or short-comings that are ridiculous, but rather the studious way we try to hide them, and our desire to act as if they did not exist.” ~ Giacomo Leopardi