My son is an addict and I loved him by rescuing him. Each time I rescued him, I believed that this was the rescue that would work, and he would see the error of his ways and stop using. Instead, I kept rescuing and my son kept using. After years of this cycle, I found Nar-Anon. Taking the focus off the addict and putting the focus on me made no sense to me when I first started to attend Nar-Anon meetings. How would not helping the addict help the addict?
Members of my Nar-Anon meeting shared their experiences, wisdom, strengths, and hope. I learned from them the difference between enabling and helping. I learned how protecting someone from the consequences of their actions was not only disrespectful, but by doing so, I was standing in the way of their recovery. This was not my job and my behavior was harmful. I needed to get out of the way and let things happen, despite my fears. I had to learn to trust something greater than myself. I had to learn to trust that by letting go of my son, serenity was available to me.
The slogan “Let Go and Let God” comforts me in my recovery, and reminds me that my son has a Higher Power, and it is not me.
Thought for Today: I will remember that I am not in control. I will trust in a Power greater than myself. I will release my addicted loved one and all the other problems that I cannot solve to my Higher Power. Today I know that is the best thing I can do.
“Stop trying so hard to control things. It is not our job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, life. Maybe in the past we couldn’t trust and let things happen. But we can now. The way life is unfolding is good. Let it unfold.” ~ Melody Beattie