The benefit of having no expectations is that I will rarely be disappointed. I heard this the other day and started to think about the addict. I started to think about the situation in which I find my family in regarding the addict and her drug addiction. I wondered how much of my anxiety is due to my expectations for her; expecting her to give up drugs and to lead a “normal” life, because that is what I want for her!
I know that as a parent I expect nothing but the best for my children. It pains me to see my once lovely daughter killing herself, and it saddens me to think that soon she might be in the penal system because of her behavior. Her drug addiction has led to her stealing and committing fraud to support her habit. My expectations for her are not fairing well in the grand scheme of things. I cannot honestly say that I had any expectations of her while she was growing up. I guess I thought that like me she would turn out to be a productive member of society.
I do love her so much, and I am beginning to realize there is more to life than love. My mother used to say, “Every mother monkey loves her baby monkey, but love does not make the world go around.” Does this mean that I have given up on my daughter? No, but I have given up on trying to control her through my expectations. Does this mean that I will stop loving her? I do not think so. It is putting some perspective to my situation.
Thought for Today: When I feel there is nothing I can do, I remember that a Power greater than myself can change what I cannot. Then I release the addict and my expectations to my Higher Power and find peace and serenity.
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~ Abraham Lincoln