I heard it said in a meeting that family members also behave like addicts. How can that be? Reflecting, I took a look at myself. I found I am addicted to food. I eat when I am full. I eat everything I see as if it were the last bit of food in the world. Yet when I discovered my loved one was using, I could not eat for months. Other times, I have been addicted to keeping everything clean and neat in my life. Everything had to be orderly all the time or I constantly cleaned late into the night. I was always tired. I wanted all those bills that were created by the addict to be paid off right now. I thought that if I worked overtime I would be able to do it. I was killing myself daily; thinking I alone could take care of everything. Compulsive eating, obsessive cleaning and being overly responsible are symptoms of my disease.
Now I am open to the truth of my greatest addiction: the need for change in my addicted loved one. The addict has the obsession that one more pill or fix will make him or her feel better. My obsession is that the addict needs to change and with that change in the addict, I will feel better. The drug addict uses because the addict cannot not use. I obsess and worry about the addict because I cannot not worry. In Nar-Anon, I too learn a different way to live and with the tools of the program; I too have a daily reprieve from my addictions.
Thought for Today: Today, I will go to meetings, be of service, and work my steps to keep my life in balance. I choose not to be an active addict by taking one day at a time.“We are all of the same cloth, though of a different cut.” ~ Nar-Anon Blue Booklet