In Nar-Anon, we learn that each person is capable of solving his or her own problems. When we lose control of our lives, it is often because we are too busy trying to fix other people’s lives and problems. For me, other people’s problems felt much easier to fix than my own; it also made me feel useful.

I once took two days off from work to call the insurance company, and research and call rehabilitation centers to get my loved one into treatment. However, when I presented him with the list of rehabs and the possible times for admission, my loved one was ungrateful. He did not appreciate the time and effort I had spent to help him. Further, when I went back to work, I had missed an important deadline and my supervisor gave me a disciplinary warning.

Nar-Anon step work teaches me that I do not have the right or the responsibility to run someone else’s life. If I continue to try to control the addict in my life, I not only lose control of my own life, but I also rob the addict of the opportunity to solve his or her own problems, in their own way and time.

Thought for Today: If I mind my own business and work on improving my self-control, I will be an example for others around me, possibly even someone I care about. Today, I am neither a controller nor a controlee.

“Relinquishing control is the ultimate challenge of the Spiritual Warrior.” ~ The Book of Runes