When faced with the absurd behavior and the resulting negative consequences of addiction, I still thought I could respond, in a mature way, with reason and dignity. You’ve gotta’ be kidding! At first, I found that I would rather retaliate for the hurt and pain by getting even. I took great pleasure in telling my war stories to anyone who would listen, even strangers. I could never purge my hurts with enough self-pity. Other people stopped being interested. Even the police were not interested. They are interested in crime and in evidence, not in the blues. All I had was my own self-destructive behavior and it bored other people.
As I grew in Nar-Anon, I discovered the maturity I wanted through the shared experiences of others who are also affected by addiction. I am maturing through the practice of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. I am maturing by understanding such concepts as co-dependence, detachment, enabling, and denial, in myself and in the addict. I am maturing by learning about the nature of the illness of addiction, its progress and pitfalls, and most recently, recovery. I also mature by learning the nature of my own illness. I am growing more mature. I am recovering.
Thought for Today: There is a peace in knowing what I can and cannot do to influence outcomes. I can still be hurt and disappointed, but I do not have to react in the same old immature ways.
“Maturity doesn’t come with age – it begins with the acceptance of responsibility.” ~ Edwin Louis Cole