If someone had told me twelve years ago that I would fall in love with and marry a man who had been a heroin addict for the previous fifteen years, I would have laughed, but that is exactly what happened. I certainly did not feel I had a worry in the world. After all, I was 40 years old. I had grown up in the 60’s. I had traveled to sixteen different countries. I had a good job that I loved. I was not naïve by any stretch of the imagination. I was well adjusted, happy, and confident that I could handle almost anything that came my way. I was not aware that I was a classic textbook example of a co-dependent and an enabler. Five years ago, I stopped enabling. I had finally come to grips with the fact that both the addict and I were insane and one or both of us were going to die if I did not get away. I wish I had not waited so long. I wish that I had accepted my powerlessness over his addiction sooner and saved both of us years of self-destructive behavior. It took that long for me to believe what the people in Nar-Anon had been telling me all along: let go and allow him to suffer the consequences of his decisions and perhaps seek recovery. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but it saved me.
Thought for Today: Loving an addict requires detachment with love. I can love the addict without participating in destructive attitudes and behaviors.
“Every act of virtue is an ingredient unto reward.” ~ Jeremy Taylor