One of the reasons I came to Nar-Anon was to find a way to get the addict clean. Whatever it took, I was willing to find the solution and solve the problem. I came to meetings and I listened to the members sharing. I learned that there were tools that I could use in this program. A slogan I took to heart was “Listen and Learn.” I also slowly learned that this program was not for the addict but was for me. I was the one who needed recovery, maybe even more than the addict did. I had become so addicted to her that I needed to turn the focus back to myself. The addict recently told me that she finally learned the meaning of “One Day at a Time” when she went to prison and found that she had no way to change her situation. She is now trying to stay clean without the help of a Twelve Step program. While I have my doubts that this can work, I cannot tell her what is best for her. I realize that one of the best ways I can help her is to continue working my own program. My one-year medallion that I received from my group states: “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our plan.” The addict’s steps in the direction of recovery relieve some of my tension and the darkness I have experienced, but I still find myself needing the wisdom of the Nar-Anon message. I have learned that the envy I once had for those whose addicts were in recovery had no meaning. The worry, anxiety and fear are still there, just in a different way.
Thought for Today: I am learning not to worry about the future and to take life one day at a time. My program works!“A master blesses calamity, for the master knows that from the seeds of disaster (and all experience) comes the growth of self.”~ Neale Donald Walsch