As I practice the Twelve Steps of Nar-Anon, I learn to make healthier choices. I can now identify times in my life when I have made less than healthy choices. There is a slight sense of regret or loss that accompanies the overwhelming feelings of forgiveness and release. I could have handled relationships better. I regret the loss of a healthy relationship with myself. I have suffered the most devastating feelings of hurt from my own berating and scathing criticism. Instead of believing, I have stretched to try something new. My first instinct is to condemn myself for not seeing what was undetectable, and unpredictable.

The beautiful part of being a child of my Higher Power is forgiveness. What I can not do, I know my Higher Power can. Where I am weak, I know that my Higher Power is strong. When I cruelly belittle myself, my Higher Power is loving and compassionate. My Higher Power changes me from the inside out. Even as I habitually pursue chaos and perfection, I am being gently taught about contentment and peace.

Thought for Today: Today, I will thoughtfully bless and forgive myself. I will remove “if only” from my vocabulary and I will replace these words with “I did the best I could at the time.” I made the right decision for that moment.“When fear is in my relationships, I forget that it started in myself.” ~ Paul Ferrini, The Bridge to Reality