I have gone through the insanity that is referred to in Step Two. I have an addict in my life and I tried everything to get through to him. I thought logic would work. I thought love would work. I thought maybe I did something wrong but when I did what I thought was the right thing, the addict still used. I tried tough love and sending the addict to rehab. All I wanted to do was to fix and control the addict’s habit. I cried, I yelled, I screamed. I cried some more. I became frustrated, felt lonely, felt lost, thought I was in an impossible situation, and felt inadequate. Then I was introduced to Nar-Anon and the First Step. I admitted that I am powerless. I gave up my struggle to control the addict and realized I have choices. I could choose to stay. I could choose to leave. I could set boundaries. I could detach with love. I found it was okay to be helpless. I could manage my life but not the life of another. I learned to take my focus off the addict and put it on me, my actions and reactions. I saw the part I played. I learned to react differently. I went from feeling lost to having direction. Laughter came back into my life as I looked at things differently. When I gave up trying to change the addict and let go and let God, I found that all things were possible. I saw changes, not in the addict perhaps, but in me. I started to believe in a Power greater than myself and saw that my life was being restored to sanity. This is Step Two.
Thought for Today: My Higher Power can restore my sanity, bring me serenity, and turn my sadness into joy. As I use the tools of Nar-Anon, I find new friends, do things for myself and get my life back.
“Insanity was the result of our past behavior. Letting go of the control that created such a hold on us can be frightening, but, as we listen and learn from others, we can begin to feel and see miracles.” ~ The Nar-Anon Twelve Step Program