I tried to manipulate the affairs of my life to reduce the pain of others. That eventually caused me pain. I could not stand to watch other people make mistakes and choices that I thought were wrong for them, when I knew I could show them a better way. I have learned that at some level I will always have a compulsion to do this. I have also learned that this is okay, this is my process. I know that when I need to be reminded of this, my Higher Power will gently tap me on the shoulder with reminders such as, “Does this have your name on it?” “Are you in control?” Sometimes I will ignore the gentle reminders and meddle in other people’s lives and choices anyway. I would like to say that I could not remember too many times that those reminders had worked. In reality, I do not remember any times that they had worked. Things only became worse and my interference delayed other people from learning the helpful lessons that their life had for them.
Now as a member of Nar-Anon, even though my old survival techniques still sometimes surface during a crisis, I can rely on the tools of the program to help me realize what I can do. I can choose instead to not react. I can see these problems as part of the solution. I can let go and allow the process to work in ways that I cannot understand. Sometimes, as a problem continues for years, I want to jump in and fix it, because I haven’t the patience to wait. I cannot understand why it has to take so long, but I do not have to understand it. I just have to accept it.
Thought for Today: Nar-Anon reminds me to use the tools of the program to change the things I can, and to depend on my Higher Power for acceptance of the things that I cannot change. The serenity and support that come from the Nar-Anon Family Groups are unbelievable. It works!
“A little kingdom I possess, where thoughts and feelings dwell; And very hard the task I find of governing it well.” ~ Louisa May Alcott