I was sitting at a meeting one evening and the topic of childhood abuse came up. By listening to others share, I was reminded of my own childhood abuse, which started in grade school. I realized that the abuse I suffered as a child affected my adult relationships. It also played a part in how I dealt with the addicts in my life. I had learned to be a victim.
I had been abused since I was five years old, physically, emotionally and mentally. It is no wonder that at times I still react in fear when someone confronts me. I do not make a choice whether it is or is not in my best interest to stand my ground. I react without thought, run in fear and then wallow in pain and desperation for days.
Nar-Anon helps me heal. During the times that it is difficult to get through the fear, I can use the tools of the program. The more I practice my program, come to meetings, apply the steps to my problems, share and listen, the smoother my transition from fear to faith. I am becoming a stronger, healthier person and can now carry the message to others.
The more I pray, meditate and ask for guidance, the more I receive the help I need. It is now easier for me to achieve serenity in times of despair and pain, thanks to the Twelve Steps of Nar-Anon and thanks to the members of my Nar-Anon family, who with their unconditional love, help me to recover.
Thought for Today: I will not let the ghosts of past abuse rule my life. With the help of my Higher Power and the support of my Nar-Anon program, I will choose serenity and peace over fear.
“It might be that a newcomer feels victimized by persons and events beyond her control, but as hard as she might try, she cannot regain control over them. These Steps have helped many in similar circumstances learn how to stop being victims and take responsibility for the part of their lives they can and should manage, while finding ways to stop being hurt by those parts they cannot, or should not, control.” ~ The Nar-Anon Twelve Step Program