I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I guess that is why it was so easy to allow my addicted loved one to continue to lie to me. Because I was lied to so many times, I felt that I was beginning to lose my ability to trust. My denial of the situation only made things worse and I was turning into a bitter and distrusting person. Because I distrusted the addict, I was always wondering in the back of my mind if people were telling me the truth or if they were taking advantage of me.
Through the Nar-Anon program, my trust of others returned. By detaching from the addict’s behavior, I was able to learn to trust again. The support, unconditional love and friendship that I have received from my fellow Nar-Anon members give me the ability to trust again, including the addict. Of course, any change takes time, and I did not develop my sense of trust overnight. However, I was able to look past the lies that the addict was telling and realize that he was allowing himself to remain sick. I had to wonder if my continued resentment and lack of trust meant that I was as sick as the addict was.
It feels good to be able to trust again. I do not have to be thinking in the back of my mind that someone is trying to take advantage of my trusting nature. I do not have to go back to my old sick way of thinking. I can choose to trust and feel good again.
Thought for Today: When I remember the saying “In God We Trust,” I think about the meaning of that phrase. I can trust my Higher Power to guide me and keep me at peace.“I will look to this day with wonder and trust. Everything is okay. I am in the care of a power greater.” ~ Each Day a New Beginning – Daily Meditations for Women