I have come to the realization, after much thought, that I have been a “know it all,” especially where my daughter was concerned. After all, she was an addict. I used to think that my daughter could not do anything right and did not know anything. I felt I had to do everything, because, after all, she was an addict. Whenever something broke, it was her fault, because, after all, she was an addict. When things were missing, it was her fault, because, after all, she was an addict. I did not listen to her when she spoke, because what could she know or say of importance, because, after all, she was an addict.
I have been attending Nar-Anon meetings for about four years, and I finally realized how unfair I had been to her. I am slowly learning through listening, listening and listening, that I do not know it all just because I am not an addict. I recognized that many things are my fault even though I am not an addict. Through Nar-Anon, I have learned that my daughter, though an addict, is not a non-person; that she has thoughts and feelings that are real, and that she deserves respect and recognition, whether she is using or not.
Thank you Nar-Anon for creating an environment where I can listen and grow, and realize and admit my shortcomings, without being judged. I can also see others as they are and give them the same respect.
Thought for Today: I will focus on myself and on those things that I can change. I will not judge others. I will ask my Higher Power for guidance and accept the choices that others make. I will practice acceptance and respect. I will not judge.“When we judge them, we judge on what we believe we know of them, failing to realize that there is much we do not know, and that they are constantly changing as they try for better or worse to cope with life.” ~ Nar-Anon Blue Booklet