One night in a dream, I learned something about myself that I did not realize nor did I like much. I dreamt that in my backyard there was a cage full of people. When I saw them, I knew I was the one putting them in there and I thought what an awful person I must be to keep all these people chained and in a cage. I was not aware that I was that controlling.
Each time I went back to check, there were fewer and fewer people in the cage. In my dream, there was a special, healthy and wonderful little child who was also in that cage. I realized that child was secretly helping these people to escape. I was so grateful to him and proud of him. I told him I was glad he was letting the people go. He was surprised and said, “Really?” “Yes,” I said, “Really.” I now realize that the healthy little child was the new me. Before Nar-Anon, I was sick and controlling and now I was letting these people control their own lives. I was still little and new but I am getting better. Even in my fantasies, I have made a box where my world exists and I am in control. It is not the real world, but it is and has been my real world.
With the help of the Twelve Steps, my Higher Power and the fellowship of Nar-Anon, I can let myself out of the cage I have created and let everyone else I meet out as well. Gradually, maybe I can start to live in the reality where my Higher Power is in control, not in the facsimiles of illusionary control I have attempted to create.
Thought for Today: I have no right to control others. It is as cruel as putting them in a cage. I will try to release myself from this insane behavior.
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” ~ Freya Stark