I used to try to manipulate the affairs of my loved ones to reduce their pain. That way, I had hoped to be spared the chaos that their pain would bring to me. I could not stand to watch other people make mistakes and make what I thought were wrong choices. I knew that I could show them a better way to live. In reality, I do not remember any time that what I did worked. In fact, I usually made things worse and I prevented other people from learning the lessons that life had for them. I found that enabling was a weakness in my character, and at some level, I would always be fighting my compulsion to interfere. When I fall back into my old behavior, my Higher Power will gently tap me on the shoulder with reminders such as, “Does this have your name on it? Are you in control?” Practicing Step Three helps me to stop before I meddle in another person’s life and choices. I know that this is one of my life lessons and I am okay with that. It is progress, but not perfection. I know that sometimes my old feelings will still arise, but now I have the tools to daily turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power. Nar-Anon helps me to grow and to realize where I was and where I am now. This gives me the strength to keep working my program.
Thought for Today: I need to continue to detach with love, to let go, to surrender my life and the lives of others to my Higher Power. I need to look for God’s will, not my own.
“We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can — namely, surrender our will and fulfill God’s will in us.” ~ St. Teresa of Avila