Before Nar-Anon, I would have said that my life was in control. I knew what I wanted. I thought that if only the addict would stop using, everything would be okay. Now, I realize that the addict had control over me. I was always thinking about him and his life. I worried about him constantly and did not want to upset him. I did what he asked even when I knew it was not the right thing for me to do. His needs and wants came first. I had lost control. Nar-Anon gave me back my life. I learned we both had choices. I learned to let him make his own choices and not try to tell him what to do. I also learned to make my own choices because they were right for me, even though some of them made the addict unhappy. Once I understood that I was powerless over him, his reactions and everyone else, it did get easier. In Nar-Anon, I learned how to do that by practicing the Twelve Steps, and by applying the Serenity Prayer and the slogans to my life.
Thought for Today: When we look outside ourselves to other people, places or things for our happiness and well-being, we have lost control. True happiness comes from within.
“Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we’ve been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events and diseases control over us.” ~ Melody Beattie