After I had attended Nar-Anon meetings for several months, something new happened. I was in the middle of a big fight with the addict, who was still in active addiction. Both of us were loud and raging; then the addict began saying derogatory things about me. My usual reaction began. I would go into the hurt mode, huddle-over, feeling as though he had kicked me in the stomach. I felt the pain of a victim that I had gone through so many times in my life, but this time something new happened. Instead of going all the way into the usual negative spiral that I had experienced at such times, I questioned my actions. Then the three Cs popped into my mind: I didn’t cause this rage, I can’t cure it, and I can’t control it. Instead of bowing over in pain, I stood up straight and looked at the addict with love and for the first time I could see the addict’s feelings. Another strange response happened when the addict calmed down and stopped raging. We were both stunned. I realized, for the first time, how my reactions were related to the addict’s behaviors. My behaviors were also responsible for the mess we made. I knew then that changing my reactions and me was going to help our family. I may not be able to cure or control addiction but I can change my reactions and end my fight in the losing battle that I was engaging in.
Thought for Today: I will change my reaction to old situations and hope that others will notice my new behavior.
“For daily need there is daily grace; for sudden need, sudden grace, and for overwhelming need, overwhelming grace.” ~ John Blanchard