The trials of being raised in a dysfunctional family sometimes made it hard for me to believe that there is a Higher Power. I could not understand why all these terrible things were happening to me. I did not choose to be born into this situation. Feeling abandoned by my Higher Power and not knowing where to turn for help, I was making poor choices. I chose to marry an addict and I assumed I could repair his problems. When I came to Nar-Anon I found the hope that a Power greater than myself could restore sanity to my life; I gained the courage to move forward in this program. I am imperfect, but I choose to work the Nar-Anon program to the best of my ability. I tell myself that progress will be made on my own time schedule. Nobody has a time clock to judge my progress. I started to get better, sometimes gradually and sometimes, all at once. Yes, I hold myself accountable to a Higher Power, but that Power can and will restore me to sanity. As I surrender to a Higher Power, I choose to lose my insanity. To work this step, I work on my stores of hope. Sometimes, hope is hard to come by because of past betrayals. Then I tell myself that no one can work this program for me. I need to do this for myself. Then, and only then, will I begin to heal.
Thought for Today: That I recognize the existence of a problem is the first step to my recovery. I have tried doing it my way and it did not work. I want the serenity and peace that other Nar-Anon members appear to have. I can work the Nar-Anon Program and trust my Higher Power to help me gain my own serenity.
“The way to end our stress is to investigate the thinking that lies behind it.” ~ Byron Katie