I know from working the Nar-Anon program that the only person I can control is me. Yet occasionally, I still continue to try to control people and situations. When will I learn? After celebrating his second year of recovery, my husband relapsed, plunging my life and my own recovery into a deep hole. I stopped attending my meetings and I stopped using the phone list. My urge to control the situation returned instantly. My whole focus was on getting my spouse back into his program. I even left our small children at home alone to search abandoned buildings where I thought he might be. I tried many things to get the addict to see what he was doing to our family. When that did not work, I blamed myself for not seeing the signs sooner. I never once realized how out of control and damaging my own behavior was. Finally, my sponsor reminded me of the importance of minding my own business, and remembering what my business is and what is not. My loved one’s sobriety definitely was not my business.
Thought for Today: When I take another person’s inventory, my urge to control returns instantly. I must learn to focus on myself and stay out of other people’s business. Today I can practice the basics. Step One begins with admitting we are powerless. If I practice this step each time a situation arises that causes me to want to control a person or situation, I will be able to mind my own business. I will gain time and energy to work on myself.
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” ~ Aldous Huxley