In my wallet, I have a pair of golden earrings. They are small and not of much value. I keep them there hoping that one day I can give them back to the owner, my daughter, when she is clean and on the right path. I have had them in my wallet for over a year now. I wonder if someday I will be able to take them out of my wallet. I hope so. Since coming to Nar-Anon, I am not as obsessive with my thoughts about my daughter’s addiction as I was one year ago, but I still think of her and want the daughter I used to know back in my life.
One day my daughter called me asking for a blanket. I thought, “Why not?” Even if she has it only for a night or two before it is stolen by some other addict that is okay. While buying the blanket, I encouraged her to get some help. I told her that I had long ago given up trying to understand why she was using drugs, and that I could not believe she had been living on the streets for over a year already. She replied she did not need help but wanted to come back home. While it broke my heart, I told her I could not allow her to come home until she gets some help. I was only able to set this boundary because of what I have learned in Nar-Anon. Before she left the car, she wanted to know if I still had the earrings. I drove off certain I had made the right decision. I am okay, although I miss my daughter very much.
Thought for Today: I am learning the message of Nar-Anon that I must go on with my life. Nar-Anon teaches me I have to make my own choices and make my own decisions. I am the one responsible for the consequences.“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt